The Magic Roundabout (fixed and improved re-dub)/Transcript

This is a transcript for the fixed and improved U.S. dub of the 2005 French-British film The Magic Roundabout.

Part 1: Opening Credits/Zebedee’s Dream
(We open up with a logo where a young girl throws a rock across a field of water, but then that rock turns into a star that starts flying, and joins an entire group of stars surrounding a mountain. The last star then magically creates the word “animation” underneath the mountain, and above the mountain was the word “Paramount”. This is the logo for Paramount Animation. We transition to the next logo.)

(This next logo shows Jenny Wakeman/XJ9 from My Life as a Teenage Robot, flying around in space before she notices a great big asteroid floating around. She then gets an idea as her arm transforms into a laser before she uses it to write the words “Nickelodeon Movies” onto the asteroid. When she finishes, she at first feels proud of what she’s done, but then she makes a “Oh, I almost forgot” face as she adds one more thing onto the asteroid, and it was the words “and Renzetti Studios”. She then looks at the audience and giggles as it transitions to the next logo.)

(The third logo shows a sign saying “Pathé” hanging around for a few seconds until it fades to black.)

(The last logo shows the good wizard Zebedee bouncing a bit before magically creating a big logo that says “Studio Action Synthese” before he leans onto the logo and smiles.)

Paramount Animation, Nickelodeon Movies, and Pathé Pictures present

In Association with the UK Film Council

Pathé Renn, Pricel, France 2 Cinema, and Canal +

A Renzetti Studios and Films Action/SPZ Entertainment/bolexbrothers Production

(The scene fades to a CGI animated sequence that begins at the snowy mountains at dawn where we see a wizard bouncing from some force of danger. Although unknown to us yet, he seems to be a humanoid but with legs replaced by springs. His name is Zebedee, and with speedy acceleration, he continues bouncing as fast as he could while worriedly panting. On the other side, we see a blue hand touch the wall, leaving a blue icy handprint. Zebedee continues bouncing until he stops at the edge of a cliff. Zebedee looks down and gasps. We zoom out to reveal that the cliff is actually the top of a fortress. The fortress itself is shaped like the head of some unidentified evil version of Zebedee and it's at the near top of the mountain. We cut back to Zebedee at the top of the fortress, worried about what he'll do, nervously glancing, when suddenly, an ice blast nearly hits him but, to his relief, hits the ground instead. Tiny pieces of rock tremble down as Zebedee turns around and sees his evil twin clone, Zeebad. The threat that our character was running from. Zeebad uses his energy from his mustache and blasts Zebedee off the cliff, sending Zebedee flying down, screaming.)

Zebedee: Uhh! Wahhhhh! Ugh! Aaargh!

(Eventually, Zebedee landed on something, a balcony that is shaped like Zeebad’s nose. But then, Zebedee is about to slide off of the balcony. However, he hangs onto it.)

Zeebad: (off-screen) You can't run from me forever, Zebedee! I'll get you eventually!

(Zebedee finally manages to hang onto the side. But then, Zeebad appears bouncing to the balcony as he looks down at Zebedee.)

Zeebad: (grinning) Now I've got you!

(Zebedee looks up at Zeebad.)

Zebedee: Huh?

Zeebad: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

(Zeebad uses the same energy from his mustache again and blasts Zebedee off the balcony, sending Zebedee falling and screaming to his tragic, doomed death.)

Zebedee: Aghhhh!

(Just as Zebedee hits the ground and dies, however, the scene immediately cuts to him waking up from his nightmare at a multicolor magic background.)

Zebedee: Zeebad! (breathes heavily and sighs) Only a bad dream.

(Zebedee goes to the screen and magically reveals a cloud background.)

Zebedee: Everything seems fine.

(Zebedee laughs and bounces away. The background then segues into the intro as the song, "Magic" by Pilot, starts playing and the title of the film fades in.)

THE MAGIC CAROUSEL

(The film's title disappears into magic dust.)

(We then pan down to the town where the Magic Carousel is located. Then, we pan down to Florence's house where Florence and her pet dog Doogal are sitting on the swings having an inaudible conversation. Dougal was telling a joke which made Florence giggle and laugh. The screen freezes and switches from color to sepia tone. We then zoom out to reveal that the freeze-frame shot is actually a photograph that is hanging on the wall. We then pan through other pictures on the wall as the opening credits continue playing.)

(Finally, as the opening credits end, we pan to a poster on the wall with a picture of an opera-singing cow named Ermintrude.)

Part 2: The Concert
(The scene fades to the same poster from the opening credits. We zoom out to reveal that the poster is hanging on the wall of a building in the town where the roundabout is. Dougal appears on-screen looking at us.)

Dougal: Ooh!

(He looks away from us for a split-second and then looks back at us at a slightly different position. He then disappears for a second and walks behind a building. He looks at something off-screen. Then, he looks at the sign saying "Candy-Bonbon". Dougal looks at us for a split-second and goes behind the sign. He peeks out through the left side of the sign and goes to the other side of the sign. He then looks at the image on the sign. The image is a clock with the hands pointing at 12. Dougal gasps and looks at the clock on the tower. It is almost noon and Dougal thinks he's going to be late for the candy that is being delivered to the people by the town's baker.)

Dougal: Oh, I'm going to be late!

(Dougal hides behind the sign again. He peeks out through the right side of the sign and goes behind a tree. He then sees an opera performance being held by Ermintrude with Florence and two other children watching it. Dougal then goes behind the roundabout just to get closer. Florence looks around and sees Dougal but he just stays hidden. Then, he goes to the other side of the roundabout just to avoid eye contact with her. He sees the opera performance again. Ermintrude has a hard time singing opera music in public. Dougal then runs off and just as he's about to hide again, Florence spots him.)

Florence: Dougal?

(The two other children, Basil and Coral, see Dougal as well. Dougal has been spotted as if his cover was blown. He then looks at Florence.)

Dougal: Shoot.

Florence: Dougal! I just knew you'd make it.

Dougal: Hello, Florence.

Florence: You're just in time for the concert.

Dougal: The what?

Florence: You know, the opera concert that Ermintrude is performing. They're about to start rehearsal.

Dougal: The opera concert? Oh, yeah. Yes, Florence, of course. (walks towards Florence) I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Florence: Well, you'd better not think you're getting some candy just for showing up.

Dougal: Candy? Who needs candy? Ha! Not me, I quit. This morning!

Florence: Hmm, I'll believe that when I see it.

(The rabbit on the stage, Dylan, starts using the guitar to play a tune of the Toreador song from Carmen.)

Florence: Oh! I think Ermintrude's about to begin.

Dougal: Oh no!

Florence: Be brave and be nice.

Dougal: Not again.

Florence: (whispering) I said nice!

Dougal: Florence!

Florence: Shh!

(Ermintrude starts singing the Toreador song from Carmen. As Dougal watches the opera performance, he looks at Florence and looks at the clock on the tower. It's definitely almost noon and Dougal still thinks he's going to be late for his candy shenanigans.)

Ermintrude: ♫ Toréador, en garde! Toréador! / Toréador! / Et songe bien, oui, songe en combattant / Qu'un œil noir te regarde, / Et que l'amour t'attend, / Toréador, l'amour, l'amour t'attend! ♫

(Florence feels nervous as she enjoys the performance while Basil and Coral feel bored. The snail who is watching the performance with the children, Brian, seems to be enjoying it as well. As Mr. Rusty and Dylan started falling asleep while playing their instruments, Ermintrude uses her tail to grab a nearby bucket of water and splash water onto Dylan, which woke him up.)

Dylan: Wah! One, two, three, four!

(Dylan starts playing "You Really Got Me" by Van Halen with his electric guitar.)

Dylan: (cheerfully) You guys ready to rock?

Everyone: (cheerfully) Yeah!

Dylan: Crank it, Mr. Rusty!

(Mr. Rusty heard Dylan's request and cranks the music box to the tune he's hearing.)

Dylan: (singing) ♫ Girl, you really got me going / You got me so I don't know what I'm doing / Yeah, you really got me now / You got me so I can't sleep at night ♫ (speaking) Go, baby!

Dylan and Ermintrude: (singing together) ♫ Ooh, yeah ♫

Dylan: ♫ You really got me now ♫

(Basil and Coral seem to be enjoying the song better than the Toreador song from Carmen.)

Coral: Whoo-hoo!

Dylan: ♫ You got me so I don't know what I'm doing ♫

(Florence seems to be enjoying the song as well, but Brian is appalled.)

Brian: Hmm?

Dylan and Ermintrude: (singing together) ♫ Oh, yeah ♫

Dylan: ♫ You really got me now... ♫

Dylan and Ermintrude: (singing together) ♫ You got me so I can't sleep at night ♫

Ermintrude: ♫ You really got me ♫

Dylan and Ermintrude: (singing together) ♫ You really got me / You really got me ♫

(While Dougal watches the performance, he looks at the clock on the tower again. It is noon and Dougal thinks he might be late for his delivered candy.)

Dylan: D'ya know what I mean?

(As the children enjoy listening to the song, Dougal sneaks off to retrieve his candy from the baker.)

Florence: Dougal! You’re gonna miss the rest of the concert!

Dylan: ♫ See, don't ever set me free ♫

Dylan and Ermintrude: (singing together) ♫ I always wanna be by your side ♫

Ermintrude: ♫ La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♫

(Brian is so annoyed that Ermintrude is singing with Dylan.)

Dylan: ♫ Girl, you really got me now ♫

Dylan and Ermintrude: (singing together) ♫ You got me so I can't sleep at night ♫

Dylan: Take it out. Oh!

Ermintrude: ♫ Yeah! ♫

(Florence stops and looks around for Dougal.)

Dylan: ♫ You really got me now, you got me so I don't know what I'm doing ♫

Dylan and Ermintrude: (singing together) ♫ Oh, yeah, you really got me now / You got me so I can't sleep at night ♫

Ermintrude: ♫ You really got me ♫

(We pan to Dougal hiding behind the sign. He notices a nail that is holding the mini-poster on the sign. He then takes it out of the sign and takes it away.)

Dylan: Yeah, yeah!

Dylan and Ermintrude: (singing together) ♫ You really got me / You really got me ♫

Dylan: Y'know, you really got me. Ohhhh! You groove me. Oh, you do, darling.

Ermintrude: ♫ You really got me / You really got me ♫

Dylan: Yeah, baby!

Ermintrude: ♫ You really got me ♫

Dylan: Yeah, baby!

Ermintrude: ♫ You really got me ♫

Dylan: Milk it, Ermin!

Ermintrude: ♫ Oh, yeahhhhhh. ♫

Part 3: Dougal’s Mistake/Zeebad’s Escape from Prison
(The scene fades to Dougal placing a nail on the road. Dougal sees the baker, Mr. Grimsdale, who is humming and driving to the town on a motorcycle cart full of candy. Dougal then hides and watches Mr. Grimsdale drive to the town. However, as Mr. Grimsdale drives there, one of the motorcycle cart's two front wheels steps on the nail which deflates the tire.)

Mr. Grimsdale: Whoa! Hey! Whoa!

Dougal: Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. Oh, man, would you look at that? What an unforeseeable accident! That's not an easy fix, that. We're looking at a multiple abrasion friction gash.

(Mr. Grimsdale turns off the engine and gets off the motorcycle cart.)

Mr. Grimsdale: Huh! I did not know you were a qualified mechanic, Dougal.

Dougal: Of course! If you bring me an air pump, some glue, four watermelons, water-skis, a trombone, and a pack of jawbreakers, I might just be able to help you out.

Mr. Grimsdale: (chuckles) I am lucky you are here.

Dougal: By the way, I was the one who deflated the tire. Sorry about that.

Mr. Grimsdale: That’s alright! I could tell you wanted to get your paws on some goodies. Oh! I almost forgot. Will you take care of my things?

Dougal: Oh, I'm so going to take care of them all right.

(Mr. Grimsdale walks away to get all of the stuff to deliver to Dougal while Dougal is looking after the stuff in the motorcycle cart, especially the candy.)

Dougal: Mmmm...I think I'll take care of those lollipops first, and then, ooh, those sherbets and, ooh-ooh-ooh, those caramel creams. Afterwards, I’ll take care of these candy canes, and then these jelly beans! Oh, Dougal's in heaven!

(Dougal gets onto the motorcycle cart. However, when he tries to do so, he accidentally started the engine inside the cart, and thus, the cart started moving backwards.)

Dougal: Wahhh! Aghhhh!

(Meanwhile, back at the performance, Ermintrude bows to the audience who are applauding.)

Ermintrude: Thank you. Thank you.

Brian: Encore! Encore!

Ermintrude: Thank you to the snail in the first row. So sweet. Now, for my next number, I shall... uh... (hears a noise) uh... hmm. What's that noise?

(Everyone else heard the noise. The noise gets louder and louder. Eventually, the motorcycle cart, which made the noise, went straight to the center of the town where the roundabout is. Dougal is riding on it, but it's going backwards.)

Dougal: Wahhhhh!

(Dougal is causing some normal chaos with the motorcycle cart and attempting to slow down the cart, and as he does so, several objects fly off from it. The cart destroyed the exterior of a grocery store and knocked off a sign. Then, it drives out of control.)

Dougal: Agh! Agh! Agh! Oooh! Oooh! Wahhhhh!

(Florence points that out and screams in reaction.)

Dougal: Get me off! How do I stop this thing?! Where are the brakes?! Please, help me!

(Coral screams and cowardly runs for her life.)

Basil: Ooh!

Florence: Oh no!

Coral: Help me!

(Basil and Florence run for their lives as well. Florence then runs over to the roundabout. The motorcycle cart then drives towards the sign, which later becomes a ramp. It goes on a ramp and jumps off of it, and before the cart would crash into the top of the roundabout, Dougal jumps off of the cart.)

Dougal: Agh! Agh! Help! Wahhhh!

(Dylan catches Dougal before he could hit the ground. He then falls down to the ground. Meanwhile, the motorcycle cart went flying and eventually, it crashes into the top of the roundabout.)

Brian: He's always got to make a big entrance. (looks at the roundabout and gasps) Uh-oh. Oh, gee, that's not good.

(The engine on the motorcycle cart stutters and leaks gasoline, which later causes the entire motorcycle cart to explode. The explosion damaged the top of the roundabout, which caused it to spin out of control.)

Florence, Basil, and Coral: (screaming) Aah!

Florence: Oh!

Florence, Basil, and Coral: No!

Florence: Everyone, hang on! Hold on tight, children!

Florence, Basil, and Coral: Help!

(Mr. Rusty saw what's happening and runs to the roundabout to try to shut it down.)

Florence: Mr. Rusty!

Mr. Rusty: Whoa! Ooh!

Coral: I can't get off!

Florence: Quick! Turn it off!

(Mr. Rusty opens the door to a room inside the roundabout with a ladder that leads to the roundabout's engine control room underneath the roundabout itself. He gets inside the small room, closes the door, and climbs down to the underground engine control room. He sees mist all over the room, which came from a room where Zeebad is imprisoned. Mr. Rusty looks at Zeebad's prison cell with maximum security. Zeebad, who is indeed inside the prison cell, bangs on the door. Mr. Rusty feels petrified. Zeebad bangs on the door again and Mr. Rusty steps back. When Zeebad bangs on the door for the third time, Mr. Rusty turns around and runs for his life. Zeebad then busts down the door and the alarm goes off.)

Zeebad: Oh, heck yeah! It took me a very long time to escape this place, but I've finally done it! And now, it's time for me to freeze the whole Earth.

(Zeebad bounces out of his prison cell and goes after Mr. Rusty. He then freezes the roundabout's engine controls and goes to where the ladder is. Mr. Rusty looks at the engine controls, which are now frozen, and then he looks at the sprockets and gears that are starting to freeze due to the ice spreading all over the entire engine control room.)

Mr. Rusty: Oh, my goodness! It's out of control!

(Mr. Rusty climbs back up to the small room inside the roundabout, gets out of the room, and holds onto one of the horses on the roundabout. Meanwhile, Zeebad prepares to jump out of the roundabout.)

Zeebad: Okay, here we go! (starts bouncing) One... two...

(Zeebad bounces higher and higher as he attempts to escape the roundabout.)

Zeebad: Three!

(Zeebad bounces very high, which is high enough to reach the top of the roundabout, uses his mustache to make a hole on the roundabout's ceiling, and flies out of the roundabout through the hole.)

Zeebad: I’m free at last!

(Meanwhile, a figure on the roundabout resembling a British royal guard starts moving fast. Zeebad laughs menacingly as he flies out of the roundabout and flies out of the village. The figure flies off of the roundabout and it, too, flies out of the village. The ice spreads all over the roundabout which causes it to slow down and stop. The roundabout now becomes an icy prison for the children and Mr. Rusty.)

Dougal: Ooh! Wh-what's happening?

Ermintrude: This is too Wagnerian for words.

Dougal: Oh, no! Florence!

Brian: What was that?

Dylan: What a trip, man. Buzzkill.

Ermintrude: Somebody help us (U.S.)/Puccini preserve us (U.K.)! What's happened to the carousel (U.S.)/roundabout (U.K.)? Dougal, when Florence gets out of there, you are going to be grounded for a long time.

Part 4: Zebedee Arrives/Zeebad’s Backstory
(Inside the roundabout-turned-icy prison, Florence puts her hand against the transparent, clear, icy wall and uses the other to knock it.)

Florence: Unh! Oh, no! Dougal, what's happening?

Dougal: Florence! Are you all right?

Florence: Dougal, I'm cold!

Dougal: Don't worry, Florence. We'll get you out of there.

Brian: What on earth shall we do?

Dougal, Brian, Dylan, and Ermintrude: Zebedee! Zebedee! Zebedee!

(Zebedee appears in a flash.)

Brian: Zebedee, thank goodness.

Zebedee: Whatever's the matter, my friends?

Ermintrude: Zebedee, something awful has happened.

Dougal: I destroyed the carousel (U.S.)/roundabout (U.K.).

Dylan: You see, to make a long story short, Dougal snuck out of the concert and attempted to raid some candy out of a motorcycle cart full of, like, candy and other goodies. When he tried to do so, the cart began to turn backwards. And when he tried to stop it, he was, like, causing some normal and usual chaos with the cart, but then, it went up through the ramp and crashed onto the top of, like, the carousel (U.S.)/roundabout (U.K.). The cart exploded and the carousel (U.S.)/roundabout (U.K.) spun out of control, and some weirdo got out of it and, like, flew out of the village. And then, the carousel (U.S.)/roundabout (U.K.) became some sort of an icy prison for, like, the children and Mr. Rusty. Uh, you might want to, like, take a look at it and see for yourself, dude.

(Zebedee looks at the roundabout, which is indeed all covered in ice. Zebedee is shocked.)

Zebedee: Oh, no! I hoped this day would never come.

Dougal: What? Tuesday? But Tuesdays are great! On Tuesdays, we make cake.

Zebedee: No, Dougal. I'm referring to the day that Zeebad escapes.

Dougal: Zeebad? I thought he was fake like wrestling (U.S.)/that was just a shaggy-dog story (U.K.).

Zebedee: I'm afraid not, Dougal. He's all too real.

(Zebedee snaps his fingers and his magic covers the screen as we transition to a hand-drawn animated flashback sequence of Zeebad's backstory. In that sequence, Zeebad leads an army of snowmen as they march all around the world while Zeebad freezes everything he sees.)

Zebedee: (off-screen) Zeebad is my evil clone. He is coldhearted, tyrannous, and cruel. His skin is blue and his powers are cold and icy.

(The scene fades to Zeebad relaxing in his fortress at the near top of a mountain.)

Zebedee: (off-screen) For thousands of years, he kept our world bound in ice.

(The scene fades to Zeebad and his snowmen army walking around as they search for the three diamonds that would give Zeebad the power to freeze the sun.)

Zebedee: (off-screen) Zeebad plans to take over the world and freeze it, but... to do just that, all he needs to do is freeze the sun. And to freeze the sun, he must find three diamonds that would give him the power to do just that.

(The scene fades to Zebedee inspecting snow and ice on the ground.)

Zebedee: (off-screen) Because of this, I had to find the perpetrator responsible for placing the snow and ice on the ground and track him down.

(Zebedee looks high up at Zeebad's fortress.)

Zebedee: (off-screen) Luckily though, I saw Zeebad's fortress, so I went inside and found him there.

(Zebedee busts down the door to Zeebad's fortress. Zeebad gets up and looks at Zebedee.)

Zebedee: (in flashbacks) Zeebad, my nemesis.

Zeebad: (in flashbacks) Zebedee.

Zebedee: (in flashbacks) What do you think you're doing here?

Zeebad: (in flashbacks) Oh, you know. I'm just making sure that the Earth stays frozen and that nothing, not even grass, will grow anywhere. Not even here!

Zebedee: (in flashbacks) Are you crazy?! The plants, the animals, the humans, and all the other creatures! They will all die from extremely cold temperatures!

Zeebad: (in flashbacks) I know, and I am going to keep it that way.

(Zebedee gasps in shock. He then gets angry, crosses his arms, turns away, and closes his eyes.)

Zebedee: (in flashbacks) Fine. If you're not going to keep the temperature normal for all the plants and animals on Earth, then I guess I'm going to do it for you.

Zeebad: (in flashbacks) You wouldn't dare.

Zebedee: (in flashbacks) Oh, yes I will. You'll see!

Zeebad: (in flashbacks) So, you want a fight, eh? Well then, bring it on, tough guy! Bring it on!

(Zebedee and Zeebad power up their mustaches and start fighting each other.)

Zebedee: (off-screen) And so, Zeebad and I fought each other.

(Zeebad uses his mustache to attack Zebedee but he dodges Zeebad's attacks. He then bounces high, uses his mustache to make a hole on the fortress's ceiling, flies out through the hole, and lands on the roof. Zebedee uses his mustache to attack Zeebad, but he dodges Zebedee's attacks. He then bounces and flies off through the hole on the ceiling and lands on the fortress's roof. Both Zebedee and Zeebad bounce high up into the sky and fight as they land on the ground. They then use their springy bottoms to collide with each other. They then back off and land on the ground again. Zeebad uses his mustache to attack Zebedee again, but still, he dodges Zeebad's attacks. Zebedee and Zeebad use their mustaches and fire each other with their magic creating an energy ball. At first, Zebedee struggles to get the energy ball closer to Zeebad, but he increases his power and manages to get it closer to him. The energy ball then explodes leaving Zeebad injured and defeated.)

Zebedee: (in flashbacks) It appears you are defeated. Now, I shall imprison you for all eternity until you learn how to be good.

Zeebad: (in flashbacks) No, wait! Wait!

(Zebedee uses his mustache and banishes Zeebad to a prison cell that is situated in the interior of a molten lava cave where he is imprisoned. Zeebad gets up and looks around in the cave.)

Zeebad: (in flashbacks) Oh, curses! I'm stuck in this cave! How can this be?

(The scene fades to a montage of Zeebad sitting in the cave and doing nothing other than forming an army of snowmen and decorating his prison cell to make it look like an icy mansion for 10,000 years.)

Zebedee: (off-screen) I defeated Zeebad and banished him to a molten lava cave where he is imprisoned for all eternity.

(The flashback sequence ends as we fade back to the present day.)

Dougal: Oh my! Well, freezing the world by freezing the sun sounds like a bad thing to me.

Zebedee: Oh, but it is, and now that you've released him, he's free to wield his terrifying power once more.

Dougal: (gulps) Oh, dear. This isn't good.

Zebedee: I know, Dougal. I know.

Part 5: Zeebad Brings Soldier Sam to Life
(The scene fades to a cold, rocky, and icy terrain where the moose is wandering around. The moose sees Zeebad falling from the sky.)

Zeebad: Ahahahahahaaaa! Unh!

(Zeebad fell to the ground and landed on the snow face down. The moose sees Zeebad lying on the ground, so he went to take a closer look at him.)

Moose: Look what we have here. Oh, right on! The Blue Man Group's back in town. You’re so cute.

(The moose sniffs at Zeebad, but as he smells Zeebad's cold and smelly body odor, he grunts and shudders.)

Moose: Ugh, like a rotten plum wrapped in cabbage. Two words, sir. Personal hygiene.

(The moose turns back, wipes his hind legs on the snow to cover Zeebad's body odor, and rudely lifts his tail to allow his butt to suck up the scent of snow. He then walks away, but then, he stops to see and smell a flower.)

Moose: Mmm, don't mind if I do.

(The moose opens his mouth and is about to eat the flower, but before he would do so, Zeebad gets up and uses his mustache to change the color of the moose's fur from brown to blue. The moose's antlers also changed their color from light tan to blue because of that. The moose looks at his tail and watches it change its color from brown to blue just like the rest of his body.)

Moose: Huh? What the heck?

(The moose turns around to see Zeebad who is angry at him.)

Zeebad: (angrily) Oh, like I need it anyway.

Moose: (bleats) Hey! You're not one of the blue guys from the Blue Man Group. You're... you're a blue, scary, and cold jack-in-a-box-like wizard! I must save my very furry blue hide!

(The moose whimpers and runs away from Zeebad. The scene cuts to Zeebad touching his mustache with his energy surrounding it. Zeebad laughs menacingly and points at the moose who ran away from him off-screen.)

Zeebad: Ooooh! Free, at last. It took me 10,000 years to get out of prison, but the best things are worth waiting for: power, revenge, and, uh... more power! Err!

(Zeebad laughs for a while until he sees a healthy and green lavender flower and gasps at it.)

Zeebad: Hmm, that's strange. Everything's cold here, but this flower isn't cold enough for my liking. (freezes the flower with his mustache) Ha-ha! Soon, it will be nice and frozen everywhere, just like it was before Zebedee ruined everything. Now, if I recall, I checked some baggage on that flight.

(Zeebad looks around as he thinks of an evil plan that would do more harm to the world than good. But then, he sees the British royal guard figure from the roundabout on the ground.)

Zeebad: Eh?

(Zeebad went to take a closer look at the figure.)

Zeebad: Aha! What's this?

(Zeebad grabs the figure and takes an even closer look at it.)

Zeebad: Oooh, just what I need. A henchman! (laughs) Today, one soldier, tomorrow, the world! And then, perhaps, three more soldiers. And the day after tomorrow, a whole army of snowman henchmen! (laughs) Ooh. Focus, Zeebad. Focus! Sir, are you alright? Wake up!

(Zeebad slams down the figure to the ground and uses his powers from his mustache to bring the figure to life.)

Zeebad: Booyah!

(The figure comes to life as a life-size wooden British royal guard named Soldier Sam.)

Soldier Sam: Hello!

Zeebad: I've done it. A lean, mean, fighting machine. Nice! You'll do fine. Loyal. Brainless. And I've got to admit, I like the mustache. And you'll obey my every command!

Soldier Sam: Yeah, all right.

Zeebad: This isn't the ballet, Nutcracker.

Soldier Sam: Don't have the shoes for it, sir.

Zeebad: Alright. Now, eyes right! Quick march!

Soldier Sam: Capital idea, sir!

(Soldier Sam does what Zeebad says as he marches around in a straight line. The song, "Lean Mean Fighting Machine" by Andrea Remanda and Goldust, starts playing.)

Zeebad: (speaking) Heh heh heh! That's it. Go on and march around like a real soldier. (singing the US military cadence) ♫ I don't know, but I've been told / We're gonna make the world real cold ♫ (speaking) Ten-hut!

(Soldier Sam stops marching, takes out his cane sword, and does the Spin Cycle move.)

Soldier Sam: This is what I call the Spin Cycle. Look at that, I'm great...

(But then, Soldier Sam is starting to get bad at the Spin Cycle move.)

Soldier Sam: Oof! I'm average... (gets worse at the Spin Cycle move) Oh! I'm terrible. (hits himself with his cane sword) D'oh!

(The song stops playing as Soldier Sam, after hitting himself with his cane sword, fell backwards to the ground and threw the cane sword high up to the air.)

Zeebad: (facepalms and sighs) This is not gonna work. This is no time for dancing.

(Soldier Sam gets up and puts his hand on his head.)

Soldier Sam: Oh! I'm sorry, has anyone seen my--? (gets hit on the head by his cane sword) Uhh. (falls backwards) Oh!

Zeebad: (facepalms and sighs) Ugh! Interns. Attention!

(Soldier Sam gets up, gets into his position just like an actual British royal guard would do, and holds out his cane sword. Zeebad swipes the sword away from Sam to take a closer look at it.)

Zeebad: Name, please! My name is Zeebad. What's yours?

(As Zeebad looks closely at the cane sword, Soldier Sam reveals his name to him.)

Soldier Sam: I am Sergeant Sam, first decorative clockwork regiment, sir! I’d also like to be called Soldier Sam. But you can call me Sam.

(Zeebad throws the cane sword away to the ground.)

Zeebad: Good. Now, here’s the game plan, Sam. I need to recover three diamonds taken from me by a treacherous thief so I can freeze the sun and create an eternal winter. You’re hired to help me.

Soldier Sam: Sweet.

Zeebad: The road will be hard.

Soldier Sam: (shocked) What?!

Zeebad: Pain, misery, and torment will be your constant companion. And your only release will be death.

Soldier Sam: (gulps) Oh. Er...can I ask about holidays?

Zeebad: Three weeks, in summer.

Soldier Sam: That's off the hook, sir! Very generous of you, sir!

Zeebad: Not that it will ever be summer again. (laughs evilly)

Soldier Sam: Oh.

Zeebad: (off-screen) If you don't like it, then perhaps you should go talk to Human Resources.

(Zeebad makes a snowball and uses his powers from his mustache to turn it into a crystal ball. The crystal ball has a moving image of Zebedee, Dougal, Brian, Ermintrude, and Dylan at the roundabout.)

Zeebad: Anywho, let's see what that punk Zebedee is up to today. (looks at the crystal ball) Well, well. He's got some little friends, hasn’t he? A dog, a cow, a snail, and even a dumb rabbit. (becomes sarcastic) Oh, I'm doomed. (talks normally) Things will not go so well in this battle. I'll soon see to them.

(Zeebad puts his hands together as the crystal ball disappears.)

Zeebad: To my old lair. We shall plan our line of attack.